The joy I get from helping little people stand taller is unbounded. That's why I insist midgets have boxes to stand on.
Contra-BLOODY-ception. Why don't kids bother? I never wore a condom when I was young, but then no one ever wanted to shag me.
- excerpts from The Digested Read of Jeremy Kyle's 'I'm Only Being Honest' by Jim Crace, Guardian.co.uk
Read the whole digested read here.